I have severe depression and PTSD. Recently, I began having hallucinations, delusions and periods of "missing time"; which is a simpler way of saying momentary amnesia. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm scared of myself and I know that the people I love are too. I don't talk much anymore. I maybe say a handful of words but most of my interaction is just listening. Sometimes I get enough up to start to say something but when I see their faces I realize I can't tell them what's going on with me. I can't scare them anymore than I already am. Not to mention, what would scaring them accomplish? No one can help me because they either don't realize that I need someone, anyone to help me with this or they just don't know how and assume it'll all pass. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just working through the motions at this point so that I seem somewhat normal and they can forget how messed up I am.

Honestly, I think the reason no one can help is because I don't know how to let anyone in. I never even told a therapist how much was going on, or my psychiatrist. When it comes down to it, I can't tell anyone that sort of stuff. I'm shut down and no one can even see in anymore. I don't know how to stop it, either. Sorry, I kind of started ranting on here.