Thanks, BrazenApogee. Initial contact by email, interesting! I have used email to communicate with her a few times, but not at first. When I started trying to find someone, I had no insurance, and it was so hard to find someone. Anyhow, that was 6 years ago. By the time I did get covered, I'd been going to her for years and didn't want to switch for a number of reasons. I do still consider from time to time, but... I like her and it takes me forever to open up, so switching to the bureaucratic unknown is .... frightening at best.

(Regarding the whole phone thing....I'm quite phone phobic, especially with certain types of calls (it can take weeks or months to tackle sometimes) and in certain mental states. I only called a crisis line once --years ago-- and had a bad experience, which didn't help, that's for sure. I do use phones, but comfort level varies a lot. There was considerable paranoia at the start of this episode, which didn't help anything.

Sorry not to reply yesterday. I spent the whole day sleeping, then marathoning dvds to avoid thinking much. Today's plan involves a lot of sleeping. Has gone to too much inertia to be a danger, but I'll be keeping an eye on it.

And back to sleep...