So to clarify, you don't feel lonely because you are alone a lot; you do have an active social life. You feel lonely because you lack romantic affection?

I am going to assume you are female, but I have been wrongly assumed a heterosexual bias in the past here. To me as a 32 male with no concrete experience in romantic relationships, why do you think you have the luxury of romance just happening automatically? I mean, you don't say: "I asked x people out, and they all rejected me/didnt want to go on a second date."

As a white tall male in a rich western country, I have a lot of privilege that I don't feel I have. But still I do feel annoyed that in romance if I take no action, literally nothing will ever happen. It is all on me. And I know there's many more males out there that lament this. Many refuse to go out there, get rejected 19 times, just to get one opportunity. And here you lament that there hasn't been a male willing to be rejected 19 times so he can ask you out and you can say 'yes'? Am I right or wrong? With all my own frustrations, this is what my honest feelings are. (some people are going to be angry with me again, alas)

As for the guy you met last summer, you say you have no contact anymore, but you don't explain why. Are you sure you did your best to stay in contact and he blew you off? If he didn't, you may not have put enough energy into it. Of course, the LDR didn't look hopeful, but you do lament nothing came of it.

I am going over your post again, looking for something that actually allows me to give feedback on why things don't go the way you want, but you give no information.

I don't feel how romance develops. I think how romance develops. Maybe that's actually more useful to you. What I think I see is that females vet the male friends of their female friends, the males in their social circles or associated with their social circle. Often one not too close, to avoid drama. And there a relationship develops.

Why? Not sure. People get drunk an stuff happens that wouldn't normally happen.
Or, the male falls in love and becomes desperate enough to ask the female out.