I grew up with a borderline, bipolar, alcoholic parent. There are certain gift-giving traits I was hypervigilant about. For example, if she gave me something really nice, I learned to be wary of it, because it was usually purchased when she was drunk or manic. What would usually happen is she'd get into a BPD spiral and make me feel badly for having the thing, call me ungrateful, talk about how she never had anything, and etc. Once she bought me a leather jacket. Then, months later, when we didn't have food money (because she'd spent it all in some spending spree), I complained that I was hungry. She flew into a rage, screaming, "Eat your damn jacket, then!"

Point is we all have reasons to be hypervigilant. It is up to us to find a way to heal--the people causing us to be so are probably not going to change their behavior.