I feel this way, quite a bit, actually. Eventually it goes from wishing they could have sunshine and rainbows, to wondering why did I ever feel bad if I have had sad days, because they don't offer sunshine and rainbows themselves. Kids are their own persons.

It's good to come in here, there's too much mommy wars and guilt inducing literature out there. As if ideal conditions are perfectly replicated in some type of petri dish? :\

I'd rather them see me cry, than pretend everything is okey dokey.

Edit to add: let me clarify a bit what I mean. Since they've been little, I've lost my mom, went through a divorce, diagnosed with MS, have needed to redivert career ambitions to something less "glam" to ensure that they are attended to. They have their days, I've 3 sons, 13,10,9, that sometimes I look at them as their wants and desires and petty arguments, etc etc etc....lack any concept that the world doesn't revolve around them. And their (lack of)compassion and empathy leaves one very important person out in the cold...me, their mom. I don't feel kidcentric as much as society would like to see happen. I have, "you're kidding me" moments more often than not.