I feel like I am dead already. I just cant see my life turning around. I have just entered adulthood and i cant even hold down a job and have crippling depression paired with a severe anxiety disorder. As i get older i feel like it'll get worse and worse until i end up doing something to myself.

I have seen myself fall deeper and deeper into madness. I feel like i cannot fix what has been broken and that i cannot function anymore. Nothing i write feels as though it's doing me any justice in explaining my emotions right now. I just cant put into words just how bad i feel.

I feel like I cannot fix myself and I know nobody will fix me for me. However my last bit of hope clings onto the thought that someone out their can fix me and make me happy again. I know it's dumb right.

I cannot go to a doctor because my anxiety disorder is so severe. I am totally cut off from the world and therefore have no access to medication.