Well after going through a crazy mixed episode and almost ruining my life I had finally found a medicine to make me better again. My doc put me on 150mg seroquel and I had 50mg tomapax for my headaches and that also helped with sleep. Well a few weeks ago I found out I was pregnant so I had to stop taking the meds. Now I'm a mess all over again. My husband just stays mad or annoyed with me because of the mood change and he doesn't get it. I'm so excited for this baby but my head is all messed up. Everything is just falling to shi* again. I hate being irritable and upset at everything and everyone and not caring about anything and over caring and being annoyed by every little thing and all the stupid thoughts in my head. Why can't I be normal. My head is always going. Reading is the only thing that shuts it up but my husband gets mad because it's all I do ignoring everything else in my life because I can't stand the way being in my own head makes me feel. I just feel so helpless now. I have a doc appointment tomorrow and I don't even see the point if I now have to wait a freaking year to be sane again. I just don't know how I'm going to do this and no one understands or gets what Im going through. My husband acts like his life is so freaking miserable, if only he was in my head. It's a fight every day to be here or want to get out of bed. I know things aren't easy for him with me like this either but he doesn't make it better for me either. I just needed to rant to someone so if you read this thank you. [emoji17]

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