Thanks for all the replies! I totally get where you guys are coming from. I really do want to be in therapy mainly because I know that it will help me and I know it's the right thing for me. Sometimes when I dont feel like going, I take 2-3 weeks to myself and cancel those appointments. I guess the main issue is that I have never really had anyone in my life who i can talk to freely and thats why ive kept so much to myself. Therapy is completely new territory for me and it's just taking a while for me to adjust to it. My T was extremely curious today about these things, way more than I have ever seen her. I dont want to find another T because after 2 years im just finally beginning to trust my current T and im so thankful that shes so patient with me.
Thanks again for the replies and inputs everything, much appreciated.