You are right Caramee. Someone on here recommended a book called negotiating the therapeutic alliance. I have it and read most of it.

There is a section about this and the therapist and client have a dialogue similar to what you and I are describing. The difference here though is the therapist continues to probe more about regarding why the client thinks the therapist means this or that...which mine isn't doing.

I sense defensiveness sometimes, hesitancy etc. Yes he is CBT but he said we've been doing psychodynamic...too.

What isn't good is I've been blaming myself all along for how I feel in our relationship. He has done nothing to make me feel any better about it only worse. Maybe I should tell him that...my fear is that he will say...you can go and see someone else

I'll fall apart completely...that is my number one fear...which is why I can't say it