I might be in the minority here and my serious apologies if this sounds at all hurtful.

I actually would greatly trust a therapist who says that I need to do it for myself. This sort of came up recently with my T in talking about attachment in the context of the therapy "relationship" -- she said that I'd never had the opportunity to get really attached to anyone growing up (in the form and with the intensity of a child-parent connection) and so, I could attach to her.

Honestly, that pissed me off no end and I snapped back saying that I am an adult. The reason it pissed me off is that --
a. It seemed like she had no idea what the hell that really meant and what complexities it would bring up and,
b. Related to (a), that's offering some seriously false promises.

It's also come up in other ways where when I've been processing really painful emotions and said that I have an acute sense of loneliness in the midst of it and she responded saying that I'm not alone and that she's "there" with me. That's true technically (we're in the same room) but emotionally? That's just totally missing the point.

Not because I don't appreciate the sentiment but because it's just out of line with emotional reality -- she can't, no one can and the point of therapy is to make me come to terms with it and help deal with it the best I can.

So, for a therapist to say otherwise to me seems incredibly disingenuous and it's like they're laying a trap for me, the client, further down the road and it can lead to nothing but utter chaos. Not only that but it's also in saying that it feels like she didn't really understand the depth and breadth of what I was going through -- saying stuff like that is almost a really facile response to what is in fact a deep, complex and painful issue.

So, I would be much more in favor of a T who has a clear-eyed (but compassionate) view of what the issue is and what needs to be done and doesn't offer any false promises but at the same time is there to support my progress in dealing with it.

I don't know if this makes sense and again, my apologies if this post at all seems painful to anyone.