Granite: please don't give up. Mess are not a long-term fix, and nothing about this is your fault! I don't know if you have gone or not, but please tell her how you feel like she hates dealing w you and that's why you think she doesn't want you in private practice. If you've never spoken about $ with her, then she may not know its your husband's money. Please, please (I am begging here!) talk to your T about this. It is triggering you, but you can do it! You've had other scary conversations with T that turned out ok.