stefano.......no words can help you at this point.....i know that so well as i have just emerged from where you are......i so wanted to die and had no cares whatsoever of who or what i left behind.......at this the lowest point there is nothing we can do but try to get through each day......hoping (against hope sometimes) that tomorrow there will be a glimmer of light.......all i can offer you is knowing that i was able to get through it and more than likely...believe it or not.......so probably will you.......i want to relay something to you that perhaps will make you think.....this morning my sons house caught on fire......he came home to it in flames with his wife and young daughter and son asleep inside........a half hour more and i would have lost 3 of the most precious parts of my life.....i imagine tonight if i had ended my life when i wanted to.........that,on top of what almost happened today...how would they have gotten through it???