Thank you to everyone who responded. I appreciate all of your advice, especially those who referenced specific fields of therapy that may be of help. I understand that this is a complex issue that will probably require a complete re-wiring of my thought processes, which is daunting. I think the scariest part for me is feeling like there is something fundamentally wrong with me. It's weird to try to think about this in terms of "healing", since healing implies there was first a wound, and I genuinely think this is just who I am. I don't recall another, healthy me to return to. And that can make me feel hopeless--like my whole personality is just fundamentally wrong. But I'm trying to have faith there's a healthy girl in here somewhere just waiting for a path to the surface. Thank you thank you. <3