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Unfortunately seeing counselors or psychologists is completely out of the question for me (one of the resons I joined), so I'll have to sort it out on my own. Thanks for your support, though, it is strange for me to see people this open. This is the first time I ever mention this issue and I feel better now knowing that there's other people who feel the same (which means I am not completely crazy) and others with whom I can speak.
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If you're going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don't even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery--isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you'll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is.
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