I'm 41 and I've felt this way for years now. When my physical health took a dive, my mental health went on a bumpier roller coaster ride. Getting back to something which resembles me is very difficult. Finding interest in something, being able to focus on a task or watch a tv show for longer than 10 minutes at a time. I used to paint, and sing, and dance. Now I wallow, exist almost without existing. It's hard to look back at who I used to be, because at times it was so much better, and at times so much worse. I try to focus on the now and it's helping me through the days.