Are you seeing a psychiatrist and are you on medication? Your perception seems quite skewed about being "manly," and there is only so much CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) can do for you. When you are obsessing, medication can often help. When my OCD was at its worst, Paxil (an SSRI) brought me out of it. Now, I'm taking other types of medication because I also have bipolar 2 disorder, but for my OCD, I take NAC (an amino acid supplement), which helps quite a bit.

It's good to be able to remove yourself from the obsessive thoughts and say "these are irrational, obsessive thoughts," and even if you can't control the thoughts, you can know they are irrational and try to focus your thoughts elsewhere. If you are in the midst of them feeling really intense and filled with fear and anxiety, it is hard to do this. That's why I also take Xanax as needed when my obsessive thoughts get intense.

Best wishes, and I hope you will consider seeing a psychiatrist if you feel that you may need more professional help.