((((((((((((( retro-chic ))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling with the depression and not wanting to be here anymore. I can definitely relate to the depression issue, but I'm not suicidal and don't have suicidal ideation, so that part I can only empathize with.

I know that the depression will lie to you. It will tell you all the negative things that can bring you down to a point where you feel you don't have the strength to get back up again. In my own experience, I know that it won't last forever and I will find some relief before it happens again. I don't know how I would feel if I didn't have those times of relief though.

It's hard to keep hearing the lies and trying to counteract the with truth and positive thoughts. They don't come easily when depressed. Seeing a T for 50 minutes a week doesn't seem like much and I can imagine trying to hold on to those short 50 minutes until the next visit is very hard.

Can you ask your T to give you a second session for the next couple of weeks until you are feeling better? Please be honest with your T as to exactly how you are feeling. Are you on meds? Do they need to be adjusted maybe?

I'll gladly keep you in my thoughts and prayers that you find some relief very soon. Hold on tightly! You can do this!