This ****cking bipolar is taking all the enjoyment out of life. I have been IP since Monday and am now on suicide watch because of high agitation, irritability mixed in with SI. When will this end. I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Sorry to be a downer but I am really struggling right now and need as much support as I can get. I can't even see my T as they won't let me out of the hospital and he doesn't do home/hospital visits. At least he has been texting me, which i am grateful for. For now I am merely existing and have little hope I will even be better. I have tried meditation but my brain won't shut up and I end up frustrated and more agitated than before.I can't even concentrate enough to colour in or stay in groups. Seeing my psychiatrist today and hope he has some ideas to help me. I haven't been this bad in a long time. It scares me.

RANT OVER