DBT does take time to learn. In a proper DBT program you have 24/7 assistance - either with your therapist or, as my program was set up, a therapist on call. The idea is that when you find yourself in a crisis situation, you call your therapist and get coaching on what skills to try.

I did my first class about seven years ago and I decided to do a refresher about a year ago. The refresher was helpful because it showed me how far I'd come. I used to really struggle with the skills and now many of them have become internalized. In fact, they always told us it was like learning to walk. You can't really fail. You might fall, you might scrape a knee, but you learn and you get better.

When you're in that sea of dyscontrol where you can't seem to apply the skills, you want to utilized skills from Distress Tolerance. They're designed to get you through the moment to the other side at which point your other skills become accessible again.

If you have the opportunity to do a properly done DBT class with a DBT trained therapist, I highly recommend it. It's not group therapy in the traditional sense. It's very skills focused and it's mainly about learning and practicing. (And so you know, I hate group things, I also strongly dislike social settings, so I don't recommend the group aspect lightly).