Thanx 4 all the support guys n gals I think my SO n us r gonna be ok. We been thru a few really rough yrs n he had a bad break earlier this yr. Somethings but the way he acts is different now.. some might never be the same, but we've all been there in sure. There's still a lot of healing and understanding happening long process. Got so used to him being our rock even tho he always had his own stuff but then his stuff jus changed nobody saw it coming maybe ♡.. she is Co conscious w/ Dr. B. and understands all the psych stuff best. Me, when ppl act suspicious I think the worst.. guess cuz my original prime function was the protector, so I I aways on high alert for ppl hurting us in someway. I don't love easy. Our SO is only the 2nd person I can say I have ever truly been in love w/ the other was my 1st GF in highschol. I thought I left a lot of that baggage behind yrs ago but it never really goes away...but yeah in general, family, friends, exes, I've always been the one mostly to bear the front seat to all the mean awful stuff and generally have jus repeatedly been told we're jus not loveable, not worth the trouble.. I know I don't bear it all alone ♡ feels it deep to, but she's real quick to love and breaks easy. I am more jus worn down and this is the first relationship that when stuff gets bad actually hits me deep. I hate feeling weak like that. ~ ♦