I have the all or nothing thinking too. I either want T right now, and I want her close and I want to "keep her" or I could care less. There's not a lot of gray area. The "all" part is when I let my emotions take over, the "nothing" part is when I am scared to get hurt so I pretend I want nothing from her, that way it doesn't hurt! To minimize to ourselves the attachment and relationship we have makes it easier. When you really think about, our therapists ARE strangers. They know loads about us, but we know little about them.
I'm sure my T would be quite startled if I called her a stranger.