Thank you Underground.

You may be right, however the point in this situation is that many people around me in the training group disliked this guy or openly told me he is a narcissist. And to me, he never looked like that. I started seeing it this way after he rejected me, looking back at the things that had happened.

He lied to me about his job, one more successful than mine, because – he later told me – he lies to a girl he fancies in order to be liked because of how he is, not because of his job. As a person who is working two jobs to make a living and to land my dream job, being lied about this in order to make me feel a connection with him feels like manipulation, don't you think?

It also took me months to understand that this guy had been rejecting me and bullying me, while at the same time he was always talking supportive nice things to me. One minute he was nice, the next minute he would tell a friend that we were "talking about dogs", implying it was boring when I mentioned my dog.

I got out of the last workshop feeling torn apart, and when I wrote him a goodbye email, after the courtship he had started and the kisses, he told me he had been surprised and overwhelmed by a romantic text I had send him, as if I was making up the whole situation. So I even ended up questioning whether I had imagined him kissing me the first time, until a couple of girls at the group, who had seen the kiss, reminded me that it had not been my imagination.

As you can see, I still struggle to recover from this situation, I am trying to understand why. I have done my part but so did him and it hurts, a lot. Maybe I will get to understand that I just got fooled around and there was really nothing there, ever, alright. But I do not consider my reaction to this rejection normal. That's why I am seeking good advice to get out of stuck.