What I mean about this question is that when I am SI'ing I am never thinking about the consequences of the scars or the stinging afterwards. I just do it, my only concern to satisfy that immediate need.

And at times it really "hits" me-- like if I am in a dressing room changing clothes... and you know how the lights in the store are really bright... and I will see all my marks/cuts/scars on my hips or thighs or wherever... and at that moment I will get upset and say, "What on earth did I do to myself?"

Or sometimes I will cut and then awhile afterwards I will notice how much it stings... and again.... "Why did I do that?"

Or I will be putting on a pair of pants and they will scrape against the cuts... and it hurts, it stings... I become angry and upset at myself.

Such a delayed reaction. Such insignificant consequences in the heat of the moment...