Hello ajay jasper galen: The Skeezyks welcomes you to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm sorry you are finding yourself to be in such a difficult situation. I'm afraid I don't have any ready answers to this dilemma for you. My thinking is that it is going to take some time & effort for you to figure this all out. If you are in a position to see a therapist yourself, this might be the best way to proceed. You need to have the opportunity to talk this whole situation through at some length with someone who is objective & knowledgeable with regard to family relations issues.

This is not a "one-session-&-out" situation. You'll probably need to talk this through multiple times before you will be able to clarify, in your own mind, how to proceed. There are many things to be considered, not the least of which are your daughter & son, as you are well aware. It would certainly be ideal if you & your wife could participate in some marriage & family counseling together. But, from what you wrote, it sounds as though this is not possible. As a result, you're going to have to do the next best thing, which is to seek support for yourself as you grapple with what to do. I wish I had a more concrete solution to suggest, but I don't. I wish you well...