(((((((((((((((((((((justanotherdancer)))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. My heart goes out to you and your son.

Depending on where you live, there are places you can go to get away from an abusive relationship. There are women's shelters that will take you and your son in and help you get back on your feet. They will help with getting you the connections you need to start over in a safe environment. It will take work on your part also....it's never easy. But, the fact is, there are ALWAYS options!

I can see by your post that you have issues with low self esteem. Such a very common problem (I also fight it daily). In my own fight, I have learned that we can only feel guilty or take the blame for other's problems when we allow ourselves to do so. I know that part of the control an abuser has is to continually feed our low self esteem. (Been there, done that) But I am living proof to tell you that you can battle back and win. You do not have to accept their blame, or accept their responsibility for the way they act. They act the way they do because they want to....not because you make them act that way.

We cannot control what others think and do. We only have control over ourselves. When you accept that as truth, you can then begin to accept that only you can make the move to get out of your negative relationship and help yourself. There are people out there that are more than willing to help. Making the first phone call is difficult.....but so worth it in the long run.

If you truly wish to make changes in your life, then the change starts within you. Wishing others would change will only waste your life away. I pray you will find the inner strength to do what you feel is best for your and your son. I'm not saying that leaving is the right thing or not. All I'm saying is that only you know what is right.....search your soul and you will hear the answer.

I wish you peace, love and strength in your journey.

Hugsss
sabby