Hi there. I really appreciated your post. It made me think of my situation. My father was very hard on me, not abusive but I wasn't allowed to make mistakes and was condemned if I did so. My parents did nothing to encourage or help my self esteem. I have never felt good about myself since I was a child. In fact, my mother always told me" You can't do one thing right" I think I internalized this and still feel that I can't do anything right. I have really made some awful mistakes and messed up my life. My family loves to remind me of this also. Especially my youngest son. Right now my emotions are out of control and I don't want to face them. So I cope in an unhealthy way by drinking and using. But that is getting intolerable too. It only makes things worse. I have been reading a few posts on this site about learning to accept yourself for who you are. My therapist just told me the same thing last week and I was mad at her for it. I thought she was just casting me off and not really helping me. But now that I read the same advice and suggestions here I guess she is right. The thing about it is, I don't accept myself and I don't know how to. But I wanted to say good luck to you and I wish you well.