My boyfriend and I have broken up, it's fairly mutual other than he reached the conclusion first. I know that the relationship needed to end eventually, and sooner is better than later. But that doesn't stop me from grieving and missing. I wish I could just flip off the feelings like a light switch. I wish that I could take all the things I know that are wrong and reach an emotional neutral ground with him so that it doesn't hurt anymore.

And there's a part of me that is angry at him for letting it go this far despite the doubts about us that he has always had. And angry at myself for the same reason.

Through the split I've lost a mutual friend and he was / is my best friend. So I've lost the two people I spoke with daily. He says he still loves me and will always be my friend, but of course there's a natural distancing that has to occur and I know that ultimately, we will lose the friendship.

So I hurt. And just wish that it was a few months down the road.