WRONG....words can be just as abusive as anything physical.

Honestly, I got so totally fed up at the hurt my husband was causing emotionally that I struck back with words & I didn't care how they hurt him at the time.....I was just "getting even". I wish it hadn't been that way, but I never could communicate with him & I had just totally had enough by that time. Everything with him was a fight from the beginning.

What your wise said to you in that last paragraph is abusive.....even if it's caused by her mental illness. It sounds like she knows her mental illness is bad but doesn't want to admit it but also is afraid to be left alone with no one but herself to care for her.

Ugh, I lived for the last 13 years of my bad marriage under the same roof even though we were separated & living in separate parts of the house. It was the most miserable time of my life. I was trapped financially at that time & ended up attempting suicide because it felt like the only way I could escape.

I think you would be better off now that you are divorced, out of the house & having the court define her visitations as being supervised only at this point in time. If she chooses to get her act together & comply with the meds & treatment.....then it can change in the future when she becomes stable.