This will be interesting putting my illness into words.

I first developed severe GAD in my early years of college. Then, in my junior year of college, I developed severe OCD which turned into a nervous breakdown. It took a while to find the right psychiatrist and the right diagnosis. I have rapid-cycling Bipolar 2 with OCD and GAD. When I'm really suffering, it tends to be severe OCD or severe anxiety. When they are bad, those are accompanied by depression. I consider that to be the depressive side of bipolar for me. When I'm feeling stable, I often have brief spurts of mild hypomania. The hypomania can sometimes become mixed state which makes me feel a little out of control thoughts-wise. My moods cycle from week to week and month to month (thus why I consider it rapid-cycling). One day I can be hypomanic, the other day I can feel mildly depressed.

I am pretty high-functioning. Nobody can tell what I am going through, which I am grateful for. Being able to work and do what I love for a living means the world to me. I teach private music lessons. I have a great support system. My husband, my parents, my sister, and multiple friends are at my beck and call when I need them. I also have an awesome pdoc. I trust him with my life.

I only had to be hospitalized once and that was due to an allergic reaction and being mistreated by my GP due to the reaction. I took Lamictal for 8 years and suddenly broke out in the dreaded Lamictal rash. My GP was treating my bipolar at the time (BIG mistake) and she didn't give me a replacement mood stabilizer AND put me on a high dose of steroids. Boy, was I manic as h***, and borderline psychotic. I ended up being hospitalized for 3 days, and thankfully my current pdoc got me straightened out from then on (I requested him in the hospital and purposely went to the hospital he works at).

I'm grateful and know my MI could be a lot worse. I struggle often with worries and obsessions. I figure I'm doing okay if I'm not feeling desperate with anxiety and needing to call people all the time to talk about my anxieties. I'm glad that I'm able to function and appear calm in the face of anxiety.

I hope to be able to help others with what I've gone through.