I had no idea where to post this, but here goes...
I'm feeling lonely.... I'm not in love with my fiance anymore and what makes matters worse, I'm in a new state with him away from friends and family. He has started a million fights with me since we moved a month ago and has left me mentally drained...doesn't help that no matter how much he tries, he doesn't understand and probably will never understand my disorder no matter how much I tried to help him understand (my BPD was on check before I met him and for the past two years, it has gone downhill). I soon realized that he's a spoiled, only child who seems to have no idea what hardship is, he has anger problems and most likely a mental disorder that he has yet to see a therapist about (at LEAST for his anger issues). He is an emotional vampire that goes into scary, violent fits (with himself.... Such as throwing himself on the floor like a child having a tantrum..which is insane), or finds every single thing I say offensive when all I'm trying to do is have a rational, adult conversation (therapy has taught me to not match the other person's anger or irrational reactions), but he just constantly is oversensitive about things other couples discuss. He obviously needs help, but I'm done helping him. He gets overly jealous and needy so I feel like I can't have friends, he's constantly paranoid about people stealing his stuff, etc.... I can go on all day . I wish the world was perfect and I could easily leave him but 1) I would be homeless and I don't want to go to a shelter 2) He's always threatening to hurt himself. I don't know if this is some type of sick Karma from when I used to drive guys crazy with my BPD, but now it's not fair I should be dealing with this. I feel alone right now....