Would you ask me to start speaking to you in Russian but tell me that I was not allowed to see or hear any first, that I should just learn how to do it? Most people have had people in their past who told them good things, those voices became their own. I don't have that, only a few months worth of old Ts voice to rely on. I don't know how to speak Russian and I can't learn if I am never allowed to hear or see any.