No I want advice but I also need to vent and I dont seem to know how to calm myself down even when I vent I am trying to find out what works and that is why I am here to see how other people deal with these kind of problems. Your right it is not an excuse to be hateful and to be honest I dont want or need an excuse I just want to get through it and I don't know where to go or who to go to because everytime I get angry nobody seems to want to deal with it and the painful child underneath all that.