I'm sinking. Ever day my disgust and discontent grows, the world just looks so ugly, everything so empty, not even worthwhile unless I'm hiding out in fantasy. I feel like that's all I can do, even if it makes me a coward.

I try to tell myself it's all perception, but positive thinking of even the slightest kind just seems so hollow most of the time. I know, deep down, it's possible to find little, beautiful, non-ugly or harmful things, but that takes so much effort is it even worth it?

I don't want to give in to this darkness, but I also feel compelled to, even though that feels wrong.