Hi Anonymous, I've missed and gone back to relationships, friendships that weren't healthy myself. These relationships always ultimately hurt me. They hurt who I am. But they stop the pain in the moment, they stop the missing. But that instant gratification is short term and ultimately kept me from growing. Sometimes I wonder if I've been choosing people I knew couldn't work out because I wasn't ready. I just broke off a relationship with someone I've been doing this with for three years now. Each time I ignored the problems (For instance in your situation, your friend was married) and chose that momentary, perceived happiness over my long term emotional health. Today, I can look at the situation and know that it's not right for me, but I miss it. I dislike the sadness and pain. I want him to erase it, make it feel better. But I know I can't do that. I have to trust my path. I have to hold out for long term happiness. I want to keep myself open for the possibility of meeting the right partner, or even the right best friend, than settle for the relationship that I know is going to bring as much sadness as happiness.

So what I'm trying to do is let him go and open myself to new possibilities. Distracting myself from thoughts of him and focusing on myself help, but take persistence. Expanding my circle of acquaintances, though difficult, is a key focus. Trying to be in the moment, wherever I am is a struggle that I might turn to meditation to help with. I'm also trying to do things that make me feel good without him. And I'm looking at myself and trying to figure out what would really make me happy and how do I go about getting there.

Best of luck to you.