KristenRenee--

Thank you so much for your response. I sincerely hope you are able to find some peace. I'm not sure that I am the greatest person to be giving advice since I haven't quite been able to deal with my own junk, but I can tell you that (at least in my experience) quitting substance abuse (however long and grueling and painful an ordeal that was) changed everything for me. Maybe it's okay to not accept yourself if who you are is not acceptable to you. But we should examine what /is/ acceptable to us, and not let other people tell us what is acceptable. We may just need to be reminded of our inherent worth as human beings--accept that first--and then change the things that can be changed, not because we are "unacceptable" if we don't change, but because we can be better and we owe that to ourselves--not to anyone else. We are the only ones who have to live with ourselves. I wish you the most sincere best on your journey. <3