Hello cheshiregrins: The Skeezyks spent many years doing professional jobs he detested, was ill-suited for, & was not good at. In the beginning, he thought that, by exposing himself to work that required him to do things for which he was psychologically unsuited, he would eventually overcome his fears & anxiety. It never happened. He just kept stumbling along until, in the end, it all just unraveled.

There is a book by an author I admire named Parker J. Palmer: Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation. In this book Palmer asserts that before we decide what we want to do with our lives, we should listen for what it is our lives intend to do with us. Simply put, we all have things we're good at & things we're not. Trying to force yourself down a path that you simply lack abilities for is just self-abusive. I wish you well...