Incidentally, I have been assigned as the RN to my ER's designated mental health hallway (some people have to be in rooms with cameras because they are actively trying to harm themselves) the last two days because, according to my preceptors I, "have a way with these patients." Heh, I am these patients. And maybe I just actually talk to them like they're real people. More clinicians should try that. I don't mind it at all...unless someone is trying to bite me...like today. But it does get a little wearing dealing with people who want to die all day when you, yourself, are desperately seeking optimism and the will to live in your life.

I have a coworker who has been in my shoes, almost to a t. She had similar guy issues, was a new RN and had similar negativity in her orientation, and she struggles with anxiety and had a bit of a self-destructive streak which caused her to have to do intensive outpatient. She and I had a mini session in our med room about Joel. And she was like, uh uh nope. He's gone. You can't be trying to focus at work with that in your life. He sounds like a narcissist. Idk about that. But it's nice that I don't feel alone at work.