I said I would only get married once. This was of course when I was 20 and knew everything.... I always thought a bad marriage meant cheating, lying, or abuse. My marriage had none of those things. And yet...I feel my marriage is bad. I consider myself strong person, and always felt if you put in enough effort you can fix any problem. Marriage doesn't work that way. I've found that one person, no matter how hard they try cannot compensate for 2. I've voiced my needs a million times over the last 19 years in a million different ways. My husband does not get it...nor do I believe he ever will. It amazes me that I can live in a house with my husband and 2 children and feel utterly alone. I guess that's what happens when you live with someone for 19 years but could never depend on them? For anything. Financially, emotionally? Sexually? 19 years I've felt like I have had no one in my corner. Even though I'm always there for him. In fact...he relies on me to make him happy. If he's not happy...then he starts to hint and manipulate me, I guess so I can read his mind and make decisions about his life to fulfill him? I'm sorry...I'm venting. I just never thought I would be here...planning the end of my marriage.