Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry you are suffering so much. With proper treatment, things can and will get better and easier to manage.
Psychiatrists prescribe medication. Psychologists provide counseling/psychotherapy. Either of them could properly diagnose you. Both my psychologist and psychiatrist charge around $120 a visit without insurance. With my insurance, I pay a $30 copay every visit. Each doctor is different, though, and insurance copays vary as well.
It does sound like you have OCD from your symptoms. As far as having any other psychological disorders, I can't tell from what you've said. I am not a doctor, so you will need to see a doctor to get a proper diagnosis. I just know from my experience, having intrusive thoughts (particularly unwanted thoughts that disgust or frighten you) is common with OCD.
Here is my advice:
1. Make an appointment with a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis and see if you can start a medication to treat the OCD (or whatever the doctor thinks needs to be treated most). Keep in mind that the meds you took before may not have been at the proper dose (OCD patients generally need a high dose of an SSRI drug to get relief). You can also ask for something to take for urgent relief if you get anxiety attacks.
2. Stop the compulsions. Whatever you do to try to alleviate the anxiety, stop doing them, because while they feel like they are helping, they actually make the cycle continue of obsessing--> compulsion--> obsess again... etc. You will need to find new ways to reassure yourself that the scary thoughts are NOT yours (they are just your brain being OCD) and they are not real. You can know it is a compulsion if you feel like if you don't do it you will freak out or have an anxiety attack. Find ways to relax without the compulsions, like doing a guided meditation or go for a walk. A good psychologist can help you with this. A good book that can also help you with this is THE OCD WORKBOOK BY BRUCE HYMAN AND CHERRY PEDRICK. This book teaches you what I just explained (stopping compulsions, reassuring yourself in healthy ways, etc.) and can actually be more helpful than some psychologists because they don't all know about this technique.
3. Make an appointment with a psychologist or counselor. Even if they don't use the techniques I described above, it will help you to have someone to talk to about what you're going through.
4. If you disagree with the diagnosis, get a second opinion. I've seen BAD psychiatrists before, and they are not worth your time. It's important with OCD to explain in detail what you obsess about and what you compulsively do to alleviate the anxiety. Maybe even make a list of all symptoms and things that trouble you and tell them how often the thoughts and feelings of anxiety happen. If they don't get it and you feel they aren't taking you seriously, move on. If after a couple doctors they all agree with the same diagnosis, however, you can be more sure about it.
5. Try taking the supplement NAC. My psychiatrist recommended it and it helps alleviate the intensity of my obsessive thoughts. My psychiatrist recommended 3,000 mg a day, and it's helped me a lot. That's something easy and natural you can do before you can get in to see the doctor.
HUGS!! I hope I have helped.
