Could any of your medicines or treatments in combination be making your situation worse? Are you able to rest awhile? Is anything or anyone able to bring you some comfort? The intensity of what you're experiencing seems so overwhelming, and there must be some inner strength that is supporting you here. Was there a last time you felt so rough? What helped? I don't have any experience being in hospital, trying to get better. But, in my recoveries, being deliberate with my thoughts and routines helped over time. That old, one day, or hour, or moment at a time. Wander, I'm thinking about you and praying for you, because it's important to us that you get well.