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Jun 03, 2016, 02:18 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
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Originally Posted by Ruari
Yes, he blocked me the day after my birthday. I lost my shyt about something a couple of days before my birthday (IIRC, it had nothing to do with him, I broke down about some huge work stress and took it out on him), and then he withdrew, and we both said we needed to talk, but I asked if we could please do it after my bday. He agreed. Then he refused to talk the day after, I pushed, he said, no I'm tired please do not push, I got pissed and he was like BOOM, we are done. And he blocked me. And we didn't speak for two weeks, until I sent him a snail mail letter because, in that situation, it truly was my issue. He chose to respond to my letter and come back, and I think that I was initially doing a lot better, but it never was the same. I don't think he came back with a blank slate.
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seems to me, he was and is very block-happy. He's a power tripper. it's a power thing to be able to cut someone off and know they are very aggravated and in turmoil by your doing it. It's truly a manipulation when done in the way that he is doing it. You don't need to block someone every time you don't feel like talking to them! There is a certain amount of finality to blocking someone and he abuses people by doing that. I imagine he does this with more than just you. I'm guessing...
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We have not talked much since ohhhh, maybe the second or third week of May? And that is also when I noticed him commenting/liking other women's selfies on FB and Instagram. Like, he blocked me the previous week, and in the same day the next week, he was flirting with two different women online. And they are friends of his, maybe he was just being nice. But knowing him, he was looking for attention--I think that is his need, gain attention by flirting and being flirted and bantered with because I've seen him interact like that for years, in a pretty harmless and friendly way, so it didn't bother me and it didn't raise any flags that he liked me from that, especially since he pursued me for so long. So when I asked the question, "Were you talking to someone else when we were talking?" and he said, no, he was probably telling the truth. But, from what I can tell, he may have been talking to the same women immediately before and after me. And that still sucks, especially when you ignore me online and act like you don't want people to know you're talking to a girl.
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Thanks for putting all this out there, there is so much about him that leads me to believe there is nothing about him you should feel bad about moving on from. He seems to me like a very self-focused and attention seeking male that likes the attention of females but only when and how he wants it. If it goes some other way, he's out of there, blocking them and leaving them feeling stupid for even thinking he liked them at all.
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I don't know if he's baiting me. I just thought he felt, well, she's out of my life. I don't need to worry about this anymore. He could be baiting me. Wouldn't surprise me. But, since I don't feel I knew him at all, I don't think a lot would at this point. I'm not taking the bait since it's just all hollow and freaking exhausting, anyway. He's 44 years old. I know he wants a real, meaningful relationship, deep down. I can tell by the way he talks, when he does talk. But unless he chooses to go back to therapy, he'll never be able to manage it.
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He may want a real relationship deep down but you know what? deep down is meaningless if your active behavior says otherwise.
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