I think the issue is that you don't know how to go about any of it. Like how to date of how to be friends or how to be in a relationship etc and it's ok. The true issue is that you refuse to seek help. You aren't following our advice so why aren't you in therapy? You really need to be in treatment if you want to be better. No one judges you being with escort. I bet your t was concerned about your well being not that he was judging. Escort didn't make you happy so the bottom line is you need to do something different here. Please seek therapy

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