Thank you all so much for your replies!

It is very quite possible it could be BPD--I just know something in that range is going on.
I have to remind myself SEVERAL times a day that I can't keep chasing her, and have to let her want to fix herself first.
I have noticed in every thing else I've read that the persons on my end always have a hard time letting go too. Must be because we know there are ways to medicate it. It sure is tough.