I think I need people on PC to set me straight.

The issue is that we are engaged and want to just elope two of us this summer and then go on a honeymoon and do squad for our wedding, no reception and no one at the ceremony. Why? Number of reasons

My family lives close by but his isn't, and to get them all together is difficult

My daughter comes stays with us for two weeks vacation soon but dates are inconvenient for us getting married ( number of reasons, just wrong timing and have other stuff planned )snd I don't want to do anything with her not here. It's tough for her to travel very often as she lives far, works and finishes her masters in the evenings so flying back and forth every few months is just unreasonable

We have large wedding coming up in my immediate family and we don't want to interfere with our wedding, we also have other big events in the family this year and there is no where to squeeze us getting married. We don't want to wait till next year.

We don't want to spend money on it or plan anything lol

We were married before and already had traditional weddings with white dress and what not.

His family isn't very reliable and overall he is kind of embarrassed of them a bit. He is always a bit stressed commingling our families. They might not show or show up at wrong time or say things that make no sense. I also don't believe they treat him right. His family stresses him out. I don't want him to stress out

There are hundreds of reasons why we don't want to do anything.

Now the true issue: we are afraid we will upset people .

Some people make comments directly or indirectly or imply that our idea of just eloping is inherently wrong. His sister sounded as she would be offended as she is puzzled why we want to elope. Some of my friends ( a few not all of course) made strange comments too. We don't want to alienate people by doing something ridiculous. We both ( especially he) always worry we will make people upset.

My t told me to stop worrying about upsetting other people and start doing whatever the heck I want as long me and my future husband are on the same page (we always are). If people get upset well too bad they will get over it. Lol she is funny

My mom agreed that eloping and honeymoon is brilliant idea. My mom
just survived stage 3 cancer so she doesn't worry about pity stuff. My daughter just wants me happy ( her dad did same thing, eloped and went on a honeymoon). His kids expressed no opinion, but didn't say they would be upset or anything ( but who knows though, they might be, just not saying and then later they would make him feel bad)

So we both can't shake the feeling that we will upset people. And people will resent us or think poorly of us. It stresses us out, being the type of people who worry about things we cannot stop thinking we will upset people. We don't want to be stressed out about it. This is very happy time in our life and we don't want to spoil it by upsetting people

I guess I need more people to kick my butt and tell me to go do whatever we want. Or not... Ugh





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