Thread: all my journals
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1oxbowgirl
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Member Since Sep 2007
Location: Pennsylvania
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Default Sep 24, 2007 at 07:28 PM
 
I have used journals, (notebooks), most of my life. In some I would paste pictures and poems, quotes and stories that I liked from magazines and junk mail. Mostly things that were up-beat and made me smile when I read them.
In another journal I wrote about my life, with caption headings, my age at the time of each entry. That way I could pick up and start writing about my feelings or happenings at any given time during the year. There are gaps in my notebooks where I was too sad to write, or didn't want to share my feelings even with my notebook. Sometimes I was worried that someone would find and read my journels, thus I kept my thoughts to my self.
Now that I am older I wish I had filled in those blank pages, so I would know where my mind was at during that time.
I have saved every letter that I received from my friends and my family from the time I was a young girl. However, the things they write about don't seem to fit in with my memories, thus although I treasure them, I can not relate to them. I find that confusing. I have a lot of blanks in my memory.

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All my life I have know that I am different. I have trouble with my thinking and processing information. I have trouble in keeping close friends. I am afraid of living, and I don't really know why. I am good at pretending everything is all right, by just gritting my teeth and just charging ahead and getting through the rough spots, but inside I am afraid of failure and getting critized for things I do. I am hoping someone can help me, or at least understand me.
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