It use to hit me most often right after I'd cut and then see the blood everywhere and think "what the hell did I just do" and then proceed to clean up. Now that I've quit it still hurts some whenever I see the scars or realize how much it hurt my relationships, and after really bad cravings pass, it feels like why did I ever start this to begin with. Had someone taught me the consequences of SI to begin with I don't believe I would have ever started.