*I posted this in the welcome section but I'm not sure if that was correct. I'm new so I'm still getting used to how things work around here.

Hi, guys.

I'm new to the thread but familiar with the disease. I've dealt with BP since high school but never went to a psychiatrist until yesterday. I lived in denial most of my life, only hoping it was a spell that would go away with more life experience. Boy, was I wrong or what?

I've previously been prescribed Celexa (which induced terrible, terrible panic attacks), Lexapro and Xanax to cope with these panic attacks. My psychiatrist was almost stunned after I told her what my previous doctors prescribed me. They believed I had GAD. Another doctor said she couldn't help me and to not come back until I saw a psychiatrist. Oh, I never came back alright.

So here I am.

I started taking Lamictal (25 mg) with Horizant (300 mg) yesterday. Never heard of the second drug but my psychiatrist made it sound like Christmas in a bottle. I have my doubts but I also don't trust doctors, ha.

It's only been day one and I've experienced at least four crying fits, anger, frustration and panic attacks, but it's unlikely that it's from the medication. However, I'm extremely paranoid about getting Stevens-Johnson Syndrome or whatever.

I get really obsessed to the point where I'll pace around my house, talking or thinking to myself for hours until I lose track of time. That's what I did today after researching the disease -- because something in my mind always tells me I'm going to be one of the rare cases.

I'm thinking about starting a lamotrigine journal on this forum in an effort to help others and keep track of my moods. Also for my sanity.