Dear all,
I am really feeling moody now a days. I have a big problem. I am feeling very lonely. I have had no love in my life – no one loves me – I am very reserved – I do not open up easily because of some previous bad experiences – even my parents do not like me.
Every one plays games – and Hate people playing games . I am always longing for love – When I see some one attractive – I just try to make a connection and I get dependent soon – I depend on this other person for my emotional needs – All of this happens just from my side – I make a connection and I become dependent – It leaves a bitter taste because this other person does not feel the same – and I get dejected – I have become a burden on the society. I do not know what to do. I am really upset about the way things are. I read many books – I am unable to cope up without someone loving me. People pretend to love me and they fun of me ( with others – saying how easy I am). Animals are not an option as I am allergic to animals – specially the smell associated with it.
Because people make fun of me, I keep distancing from the world. I don’t know where I am going. I try making connection with god – but then I feel like reaching god. I already attempted once on my life as a teenager. I am 30 yrs old and no love in my life. I am otherwise successfully and can live my life. I don’t how long I am going to drag-on like this. I am really sic of this place ( world). Its beautiful – you know a thing of beauty is a joy forever – but there is no one to share the joy.

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