During my Ritalin days, I was in class and one of my friends at the time said something I don't even remember now. I started laughing and the laughing turned into crying. Everyone around me didn't know whether I was actually laughing or crying. Neither did I!

I pace around the house for hours on end, coming up with various scenarios in my life and how to come out heroically. It's to the point where I lose track of time. I start maybe around 1 p.m. (while I'm still unemployed), and before I know it, it's five hours later. This has gone on since high school and now I'm a college graduate.

This may be TMI, but I lost my virginity to my coworker's ex-boyfriend (with her permission) -- can't even remember his name now. Also had many other sexual escapades, which led me to obsessively think I had AIDS for months thereafter, despite getting tested. Now I want nothing to do with sex despite still wanting it if that makes sense. I just don't like the obsessive thoughts afterwards.

Recently, I did many stupid things. I constantly manipulated a close friend of mine. I was willing to convert to a strict religion for no real reason. The crazy thing is that it feels like it never happened. Almost surreal. I have a hard time recalling any interaction I've had with people. I've burned bridges and now I only have three contacts in my phone (my parents and psychiatrist). I have no problem meeting friends, but keeping them? That's a whole different story. It's like I intentionally make friends and push their buttons until they disconnect from me, and when they do, I feel a weird sense of accomplishment and start anew. Almost like a clean slate.

There's a lot more but too much to get into at the moment lol.