That's totally understandable. Spilling your emotions out to anyone can make you feel humiliated afterwards, especially if you've experienced embarrassment in the past. It makes you want to bang your head against the wall.

It's like you absent-mindedly do it because you believe they're someone you can trust or maybe you said it in the heat of the moment, but then it just leaves a bad taste in your mouth and makes your heart sink just thinking about it. Don't worry. I think this has happened at least once to the majority of individuals who suffer from mental health issues, including myself. But you just get over it eventually.

It's a tense situation, and if I were in your position, I would be beating myself up for it too, but this guy has probably seen and heard it all. Did he say anything after you talked to him? Anything reassuring?